My Nana always tells me: “People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”.
I have quoted her on many occassions.
I recite this to myself in the middle of a break-up, or the end of a friendship.
I pass this bit of wisdom on to my friends when they are experiencing a loss, or miss someone, or are holding onto a relationship for dear life that they are no longer happy or learing from.
It reminds me that we are all constantly learning from one another. And when we learn what we can from someone, or we are just not in a place to learn anymore from that particular relationship, it is okay and it is healthy to step back and let go. Because if it was for a reason, it is time to move forward. If it was for a season, it will last for as long as you both need it to. And if it is for a lifetime you will continue to find each other throughout your lives and continue to enrich one another with your respective presence.
As far as love relationships go, my Nana had another very valuable quote I have cherished my whole life. She would always remind me: “Whom ever is for you, wont go past you”
I strongly attribute some of my least desireable relationships lasting for a shorter period than they could have, to reciting that bit of wisdom to myself during some of my hardest break-ups. It gave me the courage to say goodbye, when I otherwise may not have.
There is something very reasuring in knowing that if you are going to be with someone and if they are your match, if you give the relationship what you have when you are in it and it is still not a happy or healthy situation: it is okay to say “I love you, however this is not working right now. If we meet again, which I hope right now we will, then we are meant for one another. If not, then we are doing each other a favor, letting one another free to roam the planet in search of a more suitable match”.
So far, I have been very blessed because of this mindset.
I am excited to find my match and stick it out through thick and thin. I am excited to give and receive to/from my best friend and lover. However, on the same token, I am not scared that I may never find these things. Regardless of whether or not my Nana’s statement is true for anyone else, I have adopted the perspective that it is true for me…and at the end of the day that is what matters.
So, reason, season, or lifetime…I work to appreciate every moment with whom I am blessed to have in my life at the time because you never know how long you have to enjoy their company and learn from them and their perspective. I also don’t stress too much on whether someone is my soul mate in the romatic sense, because whom ever is for me wont go past me.