True to my name…uncomfortable2change

Hi fellow kids.

So.  Here we are.  You, wherever you may be…and me, in a cubical at 7:00am in “Zonieland” (as a good friend of mine likes to call it).

Drove out here from my beloved California last Wednesday and to be honest, I didn’t think I was going to make it through…namely the heat…and my family.

I Thought for sure I was going to be judged to high-heaven on the regular. “A. Are you still smokin’ on that pot?  If you don’t quit we are going to [insert ridiculous restriction that couldn’t fully be applied to a 26-year-old adult here].  You are [insert some horrible misinformation about medicinal maryjane here] and you need to change!”

I was pleasantly surprised.

I moved in my uncle’s extra bedroom.  Started working this past monday.

Not only was there no mention of MJ to me AT ALL, but when I read the company handbook (I read everything before I sign it…even if I can’t do anything about what I am forced to sign…good habit. Nice to know what I am signing my life away for. Anyhoo…) BUT THERE WAS A WHOLE SECTION about how there would be no discrimination for medical marijuana use.  HOLY MOLeY!

This, coming from a man who spent hours telling me what a mistake I was making when I told him I got my card a few years ago (not like I wasn’t doing this since a much younger age…while still getting 4.0 gpa, honor roll, jobs, internships, pageants, sports, etc.  and making a great impression to boot) and stopped assisting me and put the proverbial “squeeze” on me while I was in college which lead to my “sabbatical” (None of which I regret…and I may eventually write about this…but not yet. I am not ready).  The only mistake I thought I made was being honest to him about it…which, even that now, I am glad I was honest.  New perspectives and reduced judgement is always a positive for anyone/everyone.  Agreed?

So back to my Zonieland-a-palooza….here I am, with a new perspective of my own.  Or shall I say PERSPECTIVES.

*My Uncle is not a total tool.  He is actually a pretty Kool Kat.  He appreciates me and I totally respect him on a whole other level now.

*Working at his office is way better than I thought it would be.  The people who work there now are so pleasant and personable.  My direct superior is into URBAN GARDENING on her personal time with her soul mate, which is soooo awesome to me.  They are even going to help teach me all about it!!!!

*The other gals in the office are much more open-minded than I thought, (shows we all have our misconceived perceptions….) I have lent out two books already, and three more gals are in line to borrow them too.

*I am doing a lot more working out (taking advantage of the free gym at my uncle’s pad.  opportunity breeds more opportunity if you take advantage of it) and getting in shape and feeling good about my body.

*I make my veggie-salad I have perfected over the last year or so, cheese with nut thin crackers, nuts and a piece of fruit every lunch.

*I haven’t given up my coffee….HEY! BABY STEPS OKAY! lol….don’t judge my “thing” and I wont judge your’s [we all have something that helps get us in a happy place….some it is shopping, eating, alcohol, ciggs., drugs, soda pop, strip clubs, playing video games or watching T.V., etc. Mine are coffee, Maryjane, a stoic masculine man and taking long drives/flights to random places…I like to run off sometimes to clear my head…the guilty pleasures of our world.  Helps us get through the b.s.]

*I am showing my family how productive and creative I am (smoking or not) and it feels good to be respected as an adult.  It is amazing, when you treat someone like an adult…they tend to ACT more like one. lol.  Funny concept, huh? (sarcasm)

The list goes on…like working toward saving for my “round-the-world” trip with my friend…still heading to cali to sail once a month at least…working on my book that will eventually get put together [what some view as procrastination, I see as “thinking/planning”].

Another “So…”

My perspectives are changing.  My habits are changing.  My life is changing.  No, it is not comfortable.  No, it is not my ideal.  Yes, I appreciate everything, the opportunity, the roof over my head, the food, the ability to make money so I can pay my bills, etc.  But just because I appreciate it, doesn’t make it any easier.

Change is not easy.  Change requires work, thought, action.  Change requires humility…the ability to humbly accept that the way things were going are no longer efficient or working for me for some reason or another.

Change can be good.

I am ripping off the “band-aid” putting some sovereign silver on it, and letting my life-choices of the past “heal up”.

Peace, love and marching band.  Enjoy your “thing” kids.

Don’t be scared to change, if I can do it, ANYONE can.

I love you as myself.

-me

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