“Why do we persist in

our anger,

our hatred,

our fighting?

Why do we have

intolerance,

selfishness?

We do not truly understand that

everything arises from our minds,

that every thought we have is

instantly felt

throughout the entire universe.”

-Heart of a Buddha [With Compliments of the Amida Society]

+-+-+-+-+-+

I have been stuck in my head a lot lately.

Mainly about my favorite topic: the possibility of being in love.

Also, lots of thoughts about my ability to take care of myself financially and such…but not as much as being in love [just a more pleasant thought as far as I am concerned]

Reading the above passage this morning, reminds me how important it is to filter my thoughts.  Cut out the fear and uncertainty.  Just feel the love, flow the love and appreciate the moments when they do come.  I can’t control what another human being does or does not want to do (thank god…what a headache…I barely got the whole self-control thing down…forget trying to control another.  Not my job).  All I can do is be.

So.  I am at the place I have wanted to be for years now:

Happy and comfortable and appreciative in my uncertain affairs in love.

My Nana always says:

“God’s rejection is God’s protection A”

and my other favorite: “Who is ever for you, wont go past you A.  [So don’t worry about letting go].”

And I can’t live in fear of my heart being broken again…because hearts mend just as fast as they break if we allow the healing to happen.

So…in conclusion:  Bring it on universe.  Mr. Right or Mr. right now….my soul mate and best friend or another lesson.  I feel good about opening myself up to the experience again.  I am prepared for the battle that is the masculine-feminine dance of intertwining energies.  The emotional and spiritual experience of yin and yang at its rawest.

Passive, Patient, Vulnerable, Available and receptive…(my pat allen mantra for my inner feminine light).

If I change my inner-thoughts about love, what I want and don’t want, what I think I “deserve”, what I perceive is going on in any particular relationship [because we all know, things are not always what we think they are].  Cut out the thoughts of worry and fear that like to creep in when my head [uninvited] goes to thoughts of doubted-self-worth and the like…cuz it doesn’t really matter anyway.

What matters is, I keep my “side of the street clean” as far as my thoughts are concerned.  I stay loving and open to change and I allow love to penetrate my soul.  I can’t control if someone falls in or out of love with me.  All I can do is appreciate it all and keep on keepin’ on.

Self-contract:  I will be receptive to what others want to give.  I will attach to no particular outcome.  And I will enjoy my internal butterflies…you know, the ones you get when your eyes lock with someone and you feel connected, or they walk by and their smell excites your soul.  I will enjoy what the universe has to offer me and I wont try to make anything fit…it either WILL fit or it WONT…no sense in trying to force it.

Okay, work started already so I want to start earning my bread.

Peace, Love and fearless butterflies.

-me

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