Hate…another emotion.

If you don’t want to read an emotional rant about a relationship that is forever over…stop now.

I wont be talking about good vibes and the golden rule.

I am feeling hurt.  I am feeling like I am on the verge of tears and screaming simultaneously.

I hate him.  I hate A with a passion right now.  Hate doesn’t even begin to describe the true nature of the accumulation of feelings I have going on inside my soul right now.

I know, I know…no one can hurt you unless you let it affect you and all that “good-feeling” mini-band-aid shit we all feed each other when we don’t know what else to say to someone who is upset.  I know all that.  I am ignoring it right now…so let us just get that straight.

I deleted his number so there would be no chance of me messaging him.

That didn’t prevent him from messaging me. (which, now I am thinking about blocking his phone number…fucking ass hole).

None of this is lady-like or grown up.

This is my 12-year-old-little girl tantrum….well, my version I guess.

This is the hard part about opening yourself up to someone you love and care about.  They have the ability to say the things they KNOW will cut you to the very core of your being.

I am not going to get into what was said.  I am sure you have experienced your own version of someone close to you saying some fucked up shit.

He went too far. I am forever done.

He just fueled my “single-gal” fire and I will no longer play his bull-shit games.

I know for a fact that I am a bitchen girlfriend.  But enough of that.  I am over it.

I know if I had no feelings for him it would not have hurt me so bady…I know that if I was duty-dating and seeing other people I would not have been bothered in the least.

The Universe is blessing me right now.  My nana always says “god’s rejection is god’s protection”.

This is my chance to go out and meet some cherishing, Masculine, self-confident yet humble, active amazing men who WANT TO BE GOOD TO ME AND ENJOY ME BEING GOOD TO THEM.

I will no longer engage with a man who is soo insecure that he thinks he has to cut me down to engage with me.

I want compliments, kisses and hugs. I don’t care about how much money you do or do not spend on me; I care deeply about how you treat me.

Okay…I feel a bit better now.  The hate is disintegrating…I am feeling a little more neutral now.

Geeze…I like passion just as much as the next person…but shit…not from a negative place.  I hate that shit.

Peace, love and occasionally some good-old-fashioned-passionate hate.


PS I looked up online to see how to block him…apparently I wouldn’t be able to block the text messages so there is just no point.  I will just have to ignore him. Fucking ass hole.  I bless him away from me.

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