“It’s not a matter of if, it is a matter of when. One of the ways you’ll know you love someone is when you find someone who’s willing to fight with you because these are the people who love you.
Each time you make it to the other side it’s a building block. Commit to the relationship, to being uncomfortable, to being mad, to whatever happens-but don’t give up. Realize the greatest fight is within yourself and it often has little to do with the other person. If it’s hysterical it’s historical. Breathe. This too will pass if you let it. How important is it? Remember your goal.
The fighting in and of itself can create deeper intimacy if you’re willing to walk through it. I sense you want to go further than you ever have. Keep going. Anger is often the sign that you’re hitting your own wall. This is good news.”
-“A Life of Love” by James A. Hanrahan
Yeah, for sure…however, I don’t want to fight all the time…and I don’t want to deal with stupid drama that doesn’t need to be going down…I would much rather be chill and have a good time. Yes, fights happen, and they do strengthen a relationship when they happen in moderation and for good reason…helps you both learn how to compromise.
For me right now, the way I feel about the fight A and I had (where, ultimately, I ended up deleting his number and threatening to block him…and we have not spoken since) is that words are powerful tools…and when a person uses them to cut your heart open and spoon feed it back to you…well, I don’t want to live life like that…I don’t want to be sliced and diced in an argument…I want to be mutually understood bare-bones minimum…and to reach some sort of compromise if possible. Not every disagreement or dislike needs to turn into WWIII.
I would feel more comfortable being with a man who can use his words to get his point across and not as ninja stars aimed at the core of my being.
I dunno…maybe someone out there in cyber-world disagrees with me…but right now…I feel comfortable not trying to dig up A’s # to “work through” the nasty things that were said. Sometimes, manning up is the man’s job. I can own my part in shit….can he?
I guess I am still charged-up about all that. Never met a man who could get me so bent out of shape as A can…well, it all went down the way it did. All I can do is bring it back to:
Plus, It is time for me to enjoy my “sweet-single spot”