the world of dudes.

Interesting turn of events at the office.

The player in the office that sits next to me in cubbie-world…well, he and I had a couple…a few rather…connective-type moments…moments where we were on the same page and it was cool.  I will explain them, and you can decipher my explanation for yourself:

We did our usual hi, how are you’s…he said jokingly to one of the other guys in the office as part of their conversation “If only (insert my name here) wasn’t sitting next to me”…then he said to me a minute or so later: “did you hear me?” I replied: “yeah.” and he quickly chimed in “you know I was kidding right?” and I said “yeah. sure.” and he said it one more time then dropped it…awkward silence. (I love awkward silence’s that involve the other person feeling like they went too far when…really, internally, I find it just as funny…odd sense of humor…I know…and I am cool with it…lol).

Another one of our moments today:

He got off the phone and was talking business of sorts…I wasn’t really paying attention…and I said “how’d it go?” and he said it went well and a certain type of paper work was about to be proceed…I didn’t quite understand what the acronym (which was the title of the paperwork) stood for and he took the time to explain the whole thing to me and basically told me it was the paper work that would start the process of closing a deal (his first deal)… I said congrats and thank you for taking the time to explain it to me.  He said it was “no problem at all, anytime.” Then…silence again.

about an hour or so after that…my co-worker came over to talk “boy talk” and tell me how things are going in her dating world…I gave her some words of wisdom that I have really benefited from…and we were both talking at a low whisper so that the rest of the cubical-world couldn’t ease drop that easy…as we were talking…he started to fake whisper sorta loud and we ignored it…(we were engrossed in our convo.)…then, he stepped it up a notch and said, “you talking about me again?” and I quickly replied with a smile on my face still facing my co-worker and friend “always!” and he said “good” or something like that…I can’t quite remember his exact words.

Later, I made a oragami flower out of a post it…I passed it over the cubbie wall and he took it and said “aww…how cute…you made this for me?….thank you sweetie”.  I said nothing at all.

Finally, I was eating a cookie and it was amazing…I took a quarter of it and asked if he liked cookies and if he had any allergies…he said “do I like cookies? (as if to say: “OF course I love cookies! doesn’t everyone?”) and no, I don’t have any food allergies”…so I passed it over the cubbie-wall and he grabbed it.  He said “wow! that WAS great” and we exchanged the socially acceptable:thank you and you’re welcome patter (

He hasn’t really been talking about girls as much…he has his window blinds shut….he used to have ’em open cause he was the “designated girl watcher” for all the guys in the office that are married or have girlfriends…and now they all give him shit and say he is slackin’.

I hear him on the phone getting things for his parents…he volunteered to get me a helmet (for riding my bike)…my response was a sweet “fuck you” with a cute little smile on my face. He said, “What? I don’t wanna see you get hurt or anything”.

It is nice…so yeah…today was sorta slow but flirtatiously interesting.


Oh yeah,

Got a call from an unavailable number last night at around 8ish or so…I picked up, said hello, and they hung up.

just now got another one…it was S…the Indian Dr…

He said I seemed distant, wondered if other people were influencing me. I said no, I wasn’t sure if we were even compatible from the get-go and the “toe” thing just topped it off…and the “sugar Mama” comment…

He explained he felt insecure about it because that wasn’t his area of expertise and we didn’t have any band aids so he didn’t want to expose my wound without being able to close it up again.

I listed a few other reasons…he asked to see me right now…I told him I don’t want to be out late and I want to write more.  He said he was okay with that, could he get me a drink (I said no more alcohol for me), he asked about a coffee (I don’t drink coffee)…then I said fine, you can buy me a tea. but I don’t want to be out late.

He senses it is over…he is trying to salvage it, I am willing to break it down for him to his face…he is a good guy, just misguided and not really my type.  If I can hook him up for future girlfriend situations, I would be glad to…not trying to drag out something that is inevitable.  I have to be cruel to be kind in the right measure (like that song in ten things I hate about you talks about)…I hate being cruel…but which is worse…dating someone and leading them on cause I don’t want to hurt their feelings? or ripping the proverbial band aid off and letting us both move on before it gets too deep in the wrong direction.

I guess it is a matter of perspective and part of my growing up process….and apparently his too now.


write more when I get back…he is out front.


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