I find myself sitting at a make-shift desk in a country I never thought I would visit let alone live.
Happy yet un-accomplished.
My taste has morphed over the years…so has my perception.
I look at people and situations differently.
I’m less tolerant of unfair treatment, yet more strategic with my reactions to it.
I don’t get angry when I hear the news of what’s going on around the world…I shake my head and roll my eyes at the stupidity and apathy and selfish and destructive as fuck behavior we-as members of society [world] -are expected to not just tolerate but go along with. I look at myself in the mirror every morning and think what a waste. A waste of compassion and intelligence. A waste of beauty and power. A waste of eloquence. A waste of idealistic dreams. A waste of honest action and good hearted-intention. A waste.
I am thirty.
What a waste of time. What a waste of oxygen and space and matter.
I thought I was born on this planet to contribute and help and work toward a better life for every human being on this planet…Boy did I not get the memo!
I was born to lead and pave the way for love, peace and happiness for everyone! But I was not born with the play-money to do so…or the right family name.
Then as time past, I realized something: doesn’t matter how much money I have. Doesn’t matter how much power I am given or how much I take. As long as the world of human beings allows themselves to be distracted with bull shit that doesn’t exist let alone matter….we will all always be doomed to fail to the point of extinction…and the sad part about the whole thing…it’s all preventable.
We don’t even have to really try to be better or perfect…we just have to stop getting in our own way of happiness, peace and love.
All i see is me.
And it’s not pretty.